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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 18, 2016 12:37am-1:39am EDT

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jamie benn, his 36th. and a 4-3 bolts' loss. they lost five out of six games now. all right. to basketball. tonight in providence, miami, a three seed, and buffalo. angel rodriguez, a nice ball fake there. and he buried the three. he led the hurricanes with 24 and then rodriguez, and the 'canes beat the involves 79-72. and yale won its first tournament game in school history today! the 12 seed defeated baylor. mason was the man for yale. the sophomore guard, 31 points. he buried all of his free throws. yale in the shocker 79-75 over baylor. and st. patrick's day in clearwater. the play house, and they led off the game with that, a home run. yeah, he is batting lead-off now and it agrees with him so far. one of four dingers for the rays. matt morris struck out eight as the rays win this one 6-1 over the phillsment and in five
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first major league team to play in cuba in 27 years. and 10 sports tells you, you better believe they're excited. >> reporter: in his final start before the rays make their historic trip to cuba. matt morris put together an impressive outing strikes out eight. and yet he knows his next start will have much more attention than a capacity crowd here with president obama and the eyes oh of the baseball world looking on. >> and i'm not like nervous that he will be there watching me pitch. i think it would be very special to, you know, just to meet him and be in the presence of the lead other the free world is something that is going to be that shock and awe moment. >> reporter: for players, it is a trip of a lifetime, a cultural learning experience. fun and more importantly, business. >> they're going to come out here and try to showcase themselves t. so everyone is going to have their a game and we have to make sure we bring
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>> what i love about cuba is how passionate they are about the gym of baseball that is all we heard since the trip was getting underway. yeah, you know, i'm hearing that there are like 1957 chevys, taxis, and i'm going to quite a bit of taxis over there. >> on monday morning they will hold a practice, and then in the afternoon they'll hold a clinic for kids and tour the sites of the city. tuesday it is the showdown between the cuba national team at 2:00. reporting from clearwater, 10 sports, wtsp. and as the rays head to cuba, so is 10 news this morning anchor ian wright. he'll bring you reports from the history-making game from havana and the president's visit starting sunday night. >> and my question to eye yon is if he is staying for the big visit. >> the big visit? >> it is friday. >> he is not the only star there, the president. >> and kevin, mick jagger and the rolling stones. >> rocking it.
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somehow find a visa problem. >> i'd have a stomach problem or something. >> hello, boss. i won't be back. >> saturday. >> the rolling stones. >> i think that is a pretty legitimate excuse. >> that is the biggest week in havana. >> the rolling stones. >> and cuba. >> and how about that. >> and how come you're not going? >> i could have, but i -- >> that decision was made elsewhere. >> our hands are tied. >> stay with us.
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all right. if you just got home from st. patrick's day celebrations. very nice to have you out and about. here is the breakdown of what is coming. the fog will not be near as much of an issue for you, but patchy fog. >> and what is up for the weekend?
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after 10:00, on-and-off showers are possible. >> dave and i are playing golf on sunday, so work on that. >> what time on sunday? >> 8:30. >> and -- i think these showers should be wrapping up somewhere early, and once we get into the midday, for sure, they're gone out of the bay area and it will be windy after that. i know you have another golf charity. >> monday with the marines. >> windy and cooler. >> wait a second. you have tuesday. >> it is really monday. >> the graphic. >> you get monday off? >> i like the way you think. >> and with the marines on monday. >> it is too late for monday. >> finally tonight, it was an historic day for one of florida's oldest children's homes. >> florida baptist received a $5 million gift from the family. and he served as president from 1974 to 1978, and his family says this gift was exactly what their father was about, helping the disadvantaged.
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of him i am able to do this, and it is a good feeling to be able to give. and it is much more fun to give than to receive. >> isn't that something. that group says the gift will be placed in an endowment fund that provides for children who are neglected, abandoned or abused. it also renamed its head quarters to the joe kay blanton headquarters. >> god bless. >> and thank you for joining us. >> and be sure to join us starting at about 4:30, this is
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>> stephen: welcome to the late show! (cheers and applause) happy st. patrick's day, everyone. thank you so much! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, gentlemen. these fine gentlemen are the pipes and drums of the nypd emerald society. aren't they grand! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, gentlemen, thank you, gentlemen. honored to have you here. it with be a pleasure to be arrested by any of you. thank you so much. thank you, gentlemen.
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(cheers and applause) >> stephen: you guys, isn't that amazing. >> jon: i like that. >> stephen: you guys got to get a jazz bag pipe, that would be hot. >> jon: that would be nice, we could do amazing grace on it. >> stephen: that would be amazing. >> jon: yeah. (laughter). >> stephen: you know, st. patrick's day always makes me think of one of my favorite irish folksongs, danny boy. it's about a dying father saying good-bye to his son leaving home. you know, cuz-- please v a seat. because o danny boy, the pipe, the pipes are calling, from glen
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summer's gone and all the roses dying. tis you, tis you must leave and i must bied that is truly the most upbeat section of the the entire song. that is the party in theu sa part of that song. because from there it gets really depressing. it goes, but come ye back and all the flowers are dying. and i am dead as dead i well may be. you come and find the place where i am lying and kneel and say an ave there for me. the father is telling his son, when you return home, i'm going to be dead. so please find my grave and pray because again, i'm going to be dead. but i don't understand why does the song have to be so sad. haven't the irish been through enough? the famine, wars, liam neeson's daughter repeatedly taken. so tonight in honor of st. patrick's day i have asked world renowned irish tenor karl
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of danny boy. karl, please. (cheers and applause) karl skully, everybody. karl, thank you for being here. now and now ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, danny boy with a happy ending. o danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling from glen to glen and down the mountainside the summer's gone and all the roses falling
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must go and i must bide but come ye back and all the flowers are dying cryogenically frozeen my head will be you'll come and find that place where i am lying and just hit the button that will unfreeze me (cheers and applause) it's just a head so i will need a body
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if you find one 'twould be nice and if why i i would like a lady's body i've often wondered what a lady's body would be like and then i hope inside my female body a little baby will grow inside of me i hope he'll be a
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and when he's born i'll name the boy danny (cheers and applause). >> stephen: happy st. patrick's day, everybody. >> tonight, stephen welcomes william h. macy. actress melissa raush. and fashion designer icek mizrahi.
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human. and now it's time for the late show with stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you very much. unbelievable. thank you so much. please, thanks so much. oh my gosh, how beautiful was that song? was that not-- it can be a happy ending, can't it? >> i really had chills. >> stephen: yeah. at the end, you don't see that coming. he names the new baby boy danny. i got a little-- i got a little teary at the end there, when
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>> but i realize that guy could read a chili's menu and sing it and i would cry. >> stephen: absolutely. >> the song was beautiful. >> stephen: obviously the lyrics, a lot of it was in the lyrics. >> yeah. >> stephen: so beautiful. the irish, man, are you irish? >> i'm a quarter irish, yeah. >> stephen: which quarter? >> like the part that gave me acne for a long time. >> stephen: i'm 100% irish. well, you guys, how about the election, huh? it keeps getting weirder. looks like the gop is headed toward a brokered convention where the party bosses pick somebody other than trump or cruz. but who could it be? (cheers and applause) yeah, yeah, i know.
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jeb bush's name has been mentioned. followed by loud sobbing and the words leave me alone coming from the vicinity of florida. and you have to find a good compromise candidate. and there is an experienced party elder that everyone respects. it's john boehner. who thinks we should make paul ryan do it. (laughter) in fact, yesterday boehner said we don't have a nominee who can win a first ballot. i'm for none of the above. i'm for paul ryan to be our nominee. oh john boehner. paul ryan already got out of one sticky situation by agreeing to succeed you as speak are of the house when no one else wanted the job. paul ryan is your go to flunky for everything. >> sorry to cancel on your dinner party, you know who is great at eating food, paul ryan. hey, listen, buddy, hey, listen, buddy, look. look, buddy, i know i promised to help you move that water bed
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it turns out i don't want to. you know, paul ryan will do it. but here's the deal, paul ryan doesn't want to be the candidate because he, quote, believes the nominee should be someone who ran this year. okay. so that narrows it down to these people. but you can't-- you cannot blame speaker ryan for being hesitant. running for president is a gauntlet of personal attacks and media hit jobs. i mean it's bloody business. it's like the hunger games. no, it's worse. it is-- the hunger for power games. welcome! ha ha. welcome to the hungry for power
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tributes, assemble. oh so few remain. they're like the beatles but there are six of them and they are all ringo. excuse me. i'm a bit under the weather. i'm so under the weather i can't say weather. andro, (laughter) don't be afraid. don't be afraid. friends, this is my tongueless man boy andro. good evening, and ro. snuff box. yes, oh, yes, here we go. nothing gets my blood pumping like the crushed dreams of failed candidates. oh, let's have a gram of lindsay graham. whooo! the south shall rise again! massachippisippi. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. hmmmm.
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here we go. (laughter) my snuff box say little fuller today. because on tuesday we lost another brave tribute. >> after getting crushinged in his home state marco rubio suspended his campaign. >> after tonight it is clear that while we are on the right side, this year we will not be on the winning side z. >> stephen: yes, florida senator and boy whose birthday party your parents made you attend marco rub why has joined the ranks of the fallen. and when he dropped out, he was gracious in defeat. >> i'm so grateful for all the help that you guys have given us. i just want to you know there is nothing more could you have done. >> stephen: well, you could have voted for him. but besides that, no. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and tribute marco leaves us after a string of triumphant third place victories. but was blind sided by tuesday's shocking secretary place defeat
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so for the record, florida votes yes on jimmy buffett. yes on releasing pythons into thanks. loyal citizens, this is a major turning point in our game. for rubio is the last tribute fighting on behalf of the establishment of capital stivment he was supposed to liked. instead he became the jeb bush. ha, ha, ha. please clap, please clap. and now, with tribute trump marching toward capital city, i would just like to say everything's going to be fine. we game makers are still in full control of the games. andro, prime the escape pod to the forbidden zone. but first, let us pause to remember rubio's shining moment of oratory.
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he's going to make america orange. he doesn't sweat because his bother pos are clogged from the spray tan. he likes to sue people, he should sue whoever did that to his face. have you seen his hands, and you know what they say about men with small hands. >> stephen: they win florida? (applause) and now let us bid fairwell-- fair well to the fallen.
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good-bye, good-bye sweet marco. unless you end up getting the nomination because really anything's possible at this point. we'll be right back.
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(vo) you can check on them. you can worry about them. you can even choose a car for
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(mom) honey, are you ok? (child) i'm ok. (announcer vo) love. (mom) we're ok. (announcer vo) it's what makes a
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is a beloved actor familiar to audiences from countless films am is he now in season six of show time's "shameless." please welcome william h. macy. >> stephen: happy st. patrick's day. >> and to you too. >> stephen: irish, macy? >> i got a bit of it, more scots than irish. >> jon: all right, we can make it work. >> no, i am married to a scots, we make it work. i'm so happy to finally meet you because i'm a big fan of you and your wife. >> yeah. >> stephen: and you guys are
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fill yam h mufman. >> pretty goods. >> stephen: you have a good happy marriage even though are you famous celebrity, got your stars on the walk of fame and everything. how do you make it work? >> i have no idea. >> stephen: what is the secret. >> marry felicity huffman, everything else will work out, that is all i know. >> stephen: how about married to william h. macy. is he a treat to be married to. >> i hear he's rough. >> stephen: he looks a little rough. >> look at the characters he plays. >> stephen: i know, you have played, first of all, amazing performances in magnolia, boogie knights, obviously fargo which is how a lot of people first got to know you. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and now in shameless. a lot of people who might be described as losers. >> yeah. >> stephen: but do you see them as losers? >> no, i mean when i watch the film, yes. i think when i act them, i try not to do that. >> stephen: i guess nobody really thinks of themselves as a loser. >> no. >> stephen: they are just somebody who hasn't won yet. >> yeah.
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developed over the years, how to make someone who is either a loser or some what dispictable still compelling in some way. it's a good trick am you can have two homes if you can pull it off well. >> stephen: yes. speaking of which, speaking of which, you have pulled it off well enough that you actually have given your wife like the ultimate gift. you are a restoring her childhood home. >> yes. >> stephen: you bought the property and are you restoring the house she grew up in. >> that was good boyfriend behavior. i got to tell you. >> stephen: that is. that is one way to make the marriage work. >> that's-- that worked out very well for me. >> stephen: and where is the house. >> it is in aspen, colorado. >> stephen: okay, i understand. >> somebody has to grow up there. it is just for you, honey. i will buy a house in aspen. look, a mountain. >> stephen: is it literally the house she grew up in? >> st. and we are rebuilding it now and going through all of that stuff. thing. you have to make a lot of decisions.
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scratch, but build the same house back again. >> stephen: so the house was going. >> yeah, it wasn't worth trying to save. but it does come down to a thousand decisions am i do love to build houses. i'm a bit of a carpenter. >> stephen: i noticed. you are a bit of a cover boy. this is, i saw you on the cover of wood turning basics. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> i'm proud of that. >> stephen: i would be too. >> yeah. >> stephen: i would be too. i like this down here. it says william h. macy hooked on turning. what does that mean? >> i smoke a lot of dope. >> stephen: okay, all right. and you're making a bowl to hold this pipe. >> i made that bowl. that is a bowl right there. >> stephen: to hold your pot right there or something. >> yeah, why not. >> stephen: what can you turn? can you turn bowls. you mean like a lathe. >> i got a big powermattic lathe. you can turn bowls or you can
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colume there. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> on a big lathe. spinedels, baseball bats. >> stephen: yeah. really exciting as a boy i wanted a lathe because it is really exciting to grind your way through a log or something like that. >> it's pretty fun. >> stephen: you also ride motorcycles, sort of manly. >> i did this motser cycle movie called wild hogs and i have been hooked on them ever since. >> stephen: but now you're going to season six of "shameless." >> yeah. your character frank gal a letter kind of rep robait drunk dad, makes a lot of wrong moral choices. >> yeah. >> stephen: are they wrong moral choices or his moral choices. >> oh, nobody's perfect. on the other hand, i think he's funny. i think he's hardworking. he's entrepreneurial. he represents what is best about the welfare system. (laughter) i like the guy, personally, yeah. >> stephen: yeah, yeah.
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>> stephen: i like him too. how much-- how close is he to you? >> i'm his best friend, i would say. >> stephen: do you ever feel like when you're playing a character with a questionable moral exas, is it ever in anyway a confession for you? like the way you would like to be able to live? >> well, that's well put. i mean it's refreshing to get to be so wrong on such a regular basis. i mean we did one-- i stole this little girl's leg, her prosthetic leg. and i mean she had no leg. and i-- . >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> i don't know where they cast this young girl, and she has got it and pulling it saying give me my leg, miss ter. and i am pulling it and dragging her across the floor. that was fun. that was fun. >> stephen: well, we have a clip here. we have a clip here of it's
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and is he becoming intimate spirit allly and physically with some of the women there. >> oh yeah, yeah, it's a come meun. >> stephen: here say clip of them just having commu need. >> you are insatiable. >> my turn, after the way he handles himself with the pit, i want to taste this fresh meat. hands-off, harmon. >> frank. >> you will always be my moon but you must allow another to be my sun. (laughter) (cheers and applause). >> stephen: it turns out frank gal a ger is sort of a sexy character to the women. i don't get it and also-- . >> stephen: they love a bad boy. >> they do. they do. but i-- at age 50 i started taking off my clothes and doing
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it's so bizarre. you haven't lived until you have been running around buck naked in front of a bunch of teamsters. >> stephen: well, the night is young and it is st. patricks. we'll be right back with more
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>> stephen: welcome back. we're back with our friend william h. macy, everybody. now i disn know this, you actually, did you grow up in the south? >> i did. born in florida, raised in georgia. >> stephen: where in george ga? >> macon, decater, i'm going to atlanta on monday. i'm going to direct a film there called "crystal." >> stephen: people don't think of you as southern. you don't have a southern accent.
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when i moved to the north and it was long enough ago that it was a novel tee. here. and they take me and say mom, listen to this. say something. and you get in the fear and you lose it pretty quickly. interesting i do a southern accent now, i've got to study. >> stephen: i do the same thing. i sound like somebody from john jakes north south or something like that. i say to you general beauregard. >> i do love a good southern accent, especially that deep olive oil smooth accent. >> stephen: uh-huh, uh-huh, do you miss having one. do you wish you still had it? >> no. well, people think of you as being from the midwest now because so many people know from you fargo, that original, that movie kind of catapulted you. did you know that movie was going to start? make make you such a star? >> i knew it was going to be a great movie. joel and ethan cohe-- coen directed it, i knew i was born to play the role and that
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see it i flatter myself that i'm pretty good at reading scripts and i knew it was going to be good, yeah. >> stephen: did they know, did you have to scramble for this part? >> oh, lord, yes. i went in for a small part. they asked if i wanted to read jerry. i said yeah, went out in the hall, sea said do you want to come back tomorrow, i said yeah, every aker in l.a. came to my house to drill me all night about how to get that script down. and then i found out they were still auditioning in new york, so i got my jolly jolly lutheran ass on an airplane and i crashed the audition. >> stephen: you just walked in in new york. >> i said this is my role, don't you give it to anybody elsement i don't recommend that but it worked in this case. >> stephen: well, congratulations. it worked out for all of us. >> yeah. >> stephen: that is another character that you have played and your very wonderful talent to express to the audience not the alliance but just your behavior, sometimes just a certain stillness in your face
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heartbreak that you cannot express, you cannot tell the other, the person are you talking to. and i would love to be able to do that. i was hoping i could try to do that with you. try to express inner heartbreak in some way. how do you do it? what's the secret? >> well, techically speaking, there's-- there's standi ds slawssky, what you call an effective mm ree. you think of the time your dog got killed by a car and you think of that memory and you bring it to the stage. there is-- that says basically you do the motions in the actions and the emotion will follow. and then there is my technique which is, i just fake it. and if you can fake it well enough, people buy it. >> all right. well, i would like to try to fake it with you right now, okay. go. ladies and gentlemen, this is
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william h. macy. again, you an i each have inner sadnesses that are too deep to ever express as a human being. so instead we're just going to say the most money dain things we possibly can and convey our heartbreak. >> hey there is cake on the secretary floor conference room because it's farber's birthday. >> this is my 12th time seeing injuriesy boys. -- jersey boys. grab lightning in a bottle with a ginseng taste of mountain dew voltage. no, only the pillow shams are on sale. the rest of the bedding is
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(applause) >> i got the tickets for $200 cheaper but there is a two hour layover in phoenix. >> as i get older, i feel like a the carbonation and seltzer burns my throat. >> you can use muffin tins to freeze individual soup portions. >> one for "zootopia," please. >> "shameless" is on suns at 9 p.m. on showtime. william h. macy everybody.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my next guest stars in the binge bang theater and is a cowriter and star of the new
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please welcome melissa raush. nice to meet you, thanks for being here. >> thank you so much for having me. i'm so excited to be here. >> obviously everybody knows you from the big bang theory. congratulation. cheer plaws. but now you have got a complete departure. you've got the new movie the bronze which i understand you cowrote with your husband, right? >> i did. i did. we're very excited about it it's been a real passion project, as they say. >> and not only, you cowrote it but are you in it and i understand that you were encouraged to hold out to star in it by none other than sylvester stallone, right there. >> he was a bit of an inspiration. so when we first wrote the script we started sending it out to producers we had some interest but there was a discussion of we like the script and would want to do it but we could get more money for it if we put an actress in it who has >> uh-huh. >> stephen: you said what is melissa raush, chopped liver?
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so yeah, we held on to it and just decided to do it for a supersmall budget. perfect inspiration. >> he was. because he held on to rocky. so we kept on saying we're going stallone it. and i saw him at a party recently and i am normally the type that will hide in the corner very awkwardly and i decided i am going to go and was. so i circled him for awhile. champion. >> yeah. >> you just smell it from a distance. >> right. >> and i was taken by, he has this beautiful neck that looks like the base of a sequ oia tree. >> stephen: he sat here a couple of weeks ago. >> it is incredible. so once i was over my neck gazing, i went up to him and i told him how he held on to the movie for myself, because of him an his inspiration. and he was like hey, hey, it's a good thing you did that.
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your whole life. feels good, don't it feels good. >> yes, sylvester, it does. >> he's a great inspiration because this is another sports movie, okay. it. you play. >> yes. >> stephen: who had won the years ago. >> about ten years ago. >> stephen: and is still a big >> uh-huh. >> stephen: but now she's why. >> there say gymnast in town who is a rising star and she is faced with a decision, does she train her or sabotage her to preserve her own legacy. and it's sort of her coming of age in this new phase in her life. >> stephen: and she's not a good person. >> not a good person. >> stephen: no, so she is sort of undermining this other gymnast. >> yes. >> stephen: an in this next scene that we have here where she is taking her through her die tear regimen if you were going to train her. >> that's exactly right.
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thank you. this is a joke, right? michael phelps eats 12,000 calories a day. who say better role model. the guy with 22 medals or a chubby-- taking a dirt. >> but aren't guy swimmers different than girl gymnasts? >> anthony told us that men and women are equal. >> you mean susan b anthony, right? >> both of them. >> maggie, you trust me, you will eat this food open your mouth and put it in. >> stephen: now did you too-- why did you two-- why did you choose gymnastics? it seems particularly competitive? >> well, it's also i am under five feet tall so there's on so many athletes i could play.
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graphic sex scene in this movie. >> there is. >> stephen: and again, you wrote this film with your husband. >> i did. >> stephen: the sexiness could only be described as gymnastic. whose idea was this scene? >> it was mutual. we just draw from life experience when we're writing. yeah, we were just sitting across from each other and we knew these two characters were going to get together at that point in the story and we just look at each other, of course this is who they would do. two world class gymnasts. >> stephen: they're using the rings and everything. >> oh, yeah, there is some pommel horse bodies going on. >> stephen: have your parns seen this? >> they have not, they are seeing in in about an hour for the first time. >> stephen: are you going to watch it with them. >> i'm going be to sitting next to them. i'm almost thinking of putting a camera on the seat in front of them to see their reaction. >> stephen: parents react. >> exactly. my mom was very sweet.
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when the movie premiered and all this press about the sex scene, and i thought oh no, my parents are reading this thinking i'm doing porn. so i called her. i'm so sorry, just so you know that is not the only thing that this movie is about,but yes, there is a sex scene. she said it's okay, sex sells. >> stephen: this is your good for mom. >> yeah! >> stephen: good for mom. well "the bronze" is in theaters nation wide tomorrow, melissa raush, everybody, thanks so much for being here.
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